You said to the boys open your eyes 　　　你对那个男孩说 睁开你的双眼 　　When he opens his eyes and sees the light 　　　他睁开眼睛 看到了光明 　　You make him cry out. Saying 　　　你却让他哭泣 说着 　　O Blue come forth 　　　噢 蓝色出现了 　　O Blue arise 　　　噢 蓝色升起来了 　　O Blue ascend 　　　噢 蓝色盘旋而上 　　O Blue come in 　　　噢 蓝色已经降临 　　I am sitting with some friends in this cafe drinking coffee 我和几个朋友坐在咖啡馆里 啜饮美味 served by young refugees from Bosnia. 　　 侍者是来自波斯尼亚的年轻难民 　　The war rages across the newspapers 报纸上依然战争肆虐 and through the ruined streets of Sarajevo. 萨拉热窝布满残垣断壁 Tania said 'Your clothes are on back to front and inside out". 塔尼亚说：“你的衣服前后里外都穿反了”。 Since there were only two of us there 因为那儿只有我们俩 I took them off and put them right then and there. 我当即就把它们脱下重新穿好 I am always here before the doors open. 　从开门前我就一直在那里了 　　 What need of so much news from abroad 当所有攸关生死的事情轰击着我的大脑的时候 while all that concerns either life or death is all transacting and at work within me. 谁还去会关心外国的新闻啊 　　 I step off the kerb and a cyclist nearly knocks me down. 　　我走下台阶 险些被一个骑自行车的人撞倒 　　 Flying in from the dark he nearly parted my hair. 他从黑暗中突然出现 几乎扯断了我的头发 I step into a blue funk. 　　 我一步步的踏进了蓝色的恐惧之中 　　 The doctor in St. Bartholomew's Hospital thought he could detect lesions in my retina 圣巴多罗马医院的大夫认为他可以查出我视网膜上的损伤 the pupils dilated with belladonna 瞳孔因颠茄的作用放大 the torch shone into them with a terrible blinding light. 手电筒耀目的光射进来 　　 Look left Look down 向左看 向下看 Look up Look right 　　 向上看 向右看 　　 Blue flashes in my eyes. 　　 蓝色在我的眼中闪烁 　　 Blue Bottle buzzing 　　蓝蝇嗡嗡叫着 　　 Lazy days 　　　懒洋洋的日子 　　 The sky blue butterfly sways on the cornflower 　　　天蓝色蝴蝶自矢车菊丛中飞舞而来 　　Lost in the warmth of the blue heat haze 　　　消失在蓝色薄雾的温热中 Sing the blue 吟唱着蓝色 　　 Quiet and slowly 静谧 柔缓 Blue of my heart Blue of my dream 　　我心之忧郁 梦里的蓝色 　　　Slow blue love Of delphinium days 　　　飞燕草满野的时光里 忧郁之爱缓慢消逝 　　 Blue is the universal love in which man bathes 蓝色是宇宙之爱 人类沐浴其中 it is the terrestrial paradise. 它是人间天堂 blue 蓝色 　　 I'm walking along the beach in a howling gale 　　　在呼啸的狂风中 我沿着海滩漫步 　　 Another year is passing 　　　又一年过去了 　　 In the roaring waters I hear the voices of dead friends 　　　海潮轰鸣 我听到亡友的声音 　　 Love is life that lasts forever. 　　　爱是恒久不息 　　 My hearts memory turns to you 　　　我心中的记忆流向你们 　　 David. Howard. Graham. Terry. Paul.... 　　我心里的男孩们 　　 But what if this present were the world's last night 　　　如果现在就是世界末日 　　 In the setting sun your love fades 　　你们的爱会在落日余晖中凋谢 　　 Dies in the moonlight Fails to rise 　　 在月光中下死去 再也不能回来 　　 Thrice denied by cock crow In the dawn's first light 　　 鸡叫三巡后 黎明的第一束光射进来 　　 Look down Look left 向下看 向左看 Look up Look right 　　 向上看 向右看 　　 The camera flash atomic bright 　　照相机一闪 照片出来 　　 Photos The CMV - a green moon then the world turns magenta 　　巨细胞病毒-一轮绿色的月亮 世界随即变成了红紫色 　　 My retina Is a distant planet 　　我的视网膜是一颗遥远的行星 　　 A red Mars from a Boy's Own comic 　　一颗来自少年漫画中的红火星 　　 With yellow infection bubbling at the corner 　　它的角落感染了黄色的泡泡 　　 I said this looks like a planet 　　我说那看上去像颗星球 　　 The doctor says 医生说 "Oh, I think It looks like a pizza" 　　噢，我觉得它像一块披萨饼 　　The worst of the illness is uncertainty. 　　这病最糟糕的部分在于它的不确定性 　　I've played this scenario back and forth each hour of the day for the last six years. 　　　整整六年 我时刻都在演习生命终结的那一幕 　　Blue transcends the solemn geography of human limits. 　　 忧伤超越了严格的人类界限 　　 I am home with the blinds drawn 　　我呆在家里 关着百叶窗 　　 H.B. is back from Newcastle but gone out H.B.从纽卡斯尔回来又出去了 the washing machine is roaring away 　　　洗衣机轰鸣着转完了 　　 And the fridge is defrosting 　　　电冰箱在化冻 　　 These are his favourite sounds 　　 这些是他特别喜欢的声音 　　 I've been given the option 我可以选择 of being an in-patient at the hospital or to coming in twice a day to be hooked to a drip. 　　 是否一天去医院输两次液 　　　My vision will never come back. 我的视觉永远无法恢复 　　The retina is destroyed, 　　 视网膜已经被破坏 though when the bleeding stops what is left of my sight might improve. 尽管当流血停止时 残余视力可能会略有改善 I have to come to terms with sightlessness. 我不得不提前进入失明的倒计时 　　If I loose my sight will my vision be halved? 　　如果我失掉一半视力 视野也会减半么？ 　　The virus rages fierce. 病毒继续肆虐 I have no friends now who are not dead or dying. 我已经没有朋友了他们不是死去 就是奄奄一息 Like a blue frost it caught them. 　　 它象一片蓝色的冰霜 俘获了他们 　　At work, at the cinema, on marches and beaches. 在工作中，在电影院里，在起航与靠岸时， In churches on their knees， 在教堂里跪祷时 running, flying, silent or shouting protest. 　　在奔跑时，飞行，沉默或大声抗议时 　　It started with sweats in the night and swollen glands. 开始只是在夜里大汗淋漓 腺体肿大 Then the black cancer spread across their faces 接着黑色素瘤遍布于他们的脸上 as they fought for breath 　当他们为呼吸挣扎时 TB and pneumonia hammered their lungs and Toxo at the brain 肺结核和肺炎攻击了他们的肺 同时弓形虫入侵了他们的大脑 reflexes scrambled 　导致神经系统紊乱 sweat poured through hair matter like lianas in the tropical forest.　　 汗如雨下 头发纠结的如同热带雨林的藤曼 Voices slurred - and then were lost forever。 声音渐渐模糊 最终永远消失 My pen chased this story across the page tossed this way and that in the storm. 我的笔在纸上追寻着这个在风暴中辗转的故事 　　 The blood of sensibility is blue 感性的血液是蓝色的 　　 I consecrate myself to find its most perfect expression 　　 为了追索最完美的表达 我决定献身自己 　　 My sight failed a little more in the night 夜里我的视力更加衰退 　　 H.B. offers me his blood H.B.为我献了血 　　 It will kill everything he says 　　 他说 这可以杀死任何病毒 　　 The drip of DHPG trills like a canary 　　DHPG滴落的声音仿佛一只金丝雀 　　I am accompanied by a shadow into which H.B. appears and disappears. H.B的影子时隐时现 一直陪伴着我 I have lost the sight on the periphery of my right eye. 　　 我已经看不到右眼周围的东西 　　I hold out my hands before me and slowly part them. 我抬起双手 在眼前慢慢张开手指 At a certain moment they disappear out of the corner of my eyes. 顷刻间 它们便在我的眼角消失了 This is how I used to see. 　这便是我如今看东西的方式 　　Now if I repeat the motion this is all I see. 我重复这个动作 这就是我所能看到的全部 I shall not win the battle against the virus 我不可能赢得与病毒的斗争 in spite of the slogans like "Living with AIDS". 尽管口号喊着 “在艾滋中活下去” The virus was appropriated by the well 病毒源源不绝 so we have to live with AIDS 所以我们不得不“与艾滋同在” while they spread the quilt for the moths of Ithaca across the wine dark sea. 在伊萨卡岛的飞蛾穿越酒岸海而来之时 　　Awareness is heightened by this, but something else is lost.　 　认识更加深刻 但某些东西却遗失了 　　A sense of reality drowned in theatre. 现实充满着戏剧性 Thinking blind, becoming blind. 　　 思考着失明 便真的失明 　　In the hospital it is as quiet as a tomb.　　 医院里寂静的如坟墓一般 The nurse fights to find a vein in my right arm. 护士竭力从我右臂上找一根血管 We give up after five attempts. 在尝试了五次之后 我们最终放弃 Would you faint if someone stuck a needle into your arm? 如果有人往你胳膊上扎针 你会晕厥么？ I've got used to it - but I still shut my eyes. 我已经习惯了 但我还是乖乖闭上了眼睛 　　The Gautama Buddha instructs me to walk away from illness. 佛祖释迦牟尼教导我 要无视疾病之苦 But he wasn't attached to a drip. 可他可没挂过吊瓶 　　 Fate is the strongest 命运最为强大 　　 Fate Fated Fatal 命中 注定 不幸 　　 I resign myself to Fate 我屈从于我的命运 　　 Blind Fate 失明的命 　　 The drip stings 点滴刺痛着 　　 A lump swells up in my arm 胳膊上肿起个包 　　 Out comes the drip 药液留出来 　　 An electric shock sparks up my arm 　　 胳膊像被电火花灼烧那么疼 　　 How can I walk away with a drip attached to me? 挂着这么个吊瓶我可怎么逃离这里? 　　 How am I going to walk away from this? 　　 我怎样能从这种状态下逃脱？ 　　 I fill this room with the echo of many voices 房间里回荡着往日的声音 　　 Who passed time here 他们曾在这里消磨时光 　　 Voices unlocked from the blue of the long dried paint 声音从干缩的蓝色油画颜料中释放 　　 The sun comes and floods this empty room 阳光照进来 铺满了这个空荡荡的房间 　　 I call it my room 我称它为我的房间 　　 My room has welcomed many summers 我的房间迎来过许多个夏天 　　 Embraced laughter and tears 拥抱过那么多的欢笑与泪水 　　 Can it fill itself with your laughter 你的笑声能填满它么 　　 Each word a sunbeam Glancing in the light 每句话都恍若闪烁的阳光 　　 This is the song of My Room 这是我的房间的歌 David. Howard. Graham. Terry. Paul.... 我心里的男孩们 　　 Blue stretches, yawns and is awake. 　　 蓝色伸着懒腰 打着哈欠 醒了 Blue 蓝色 　　 There is a photo in the newspaper this morning of refugees leaving Bosnia. 今晨报上有逃出波斯尼亚难民的照片 They look out of time 他们看上去有些不合时宜 Peasant women with scarves and black dresses 农妇身着黑衣戴围巾 stepped from the pages of an older Europe. 　　 仿佛从欧洲古书的书页中走来 One of them has lost her three children. 她们其中一位失去了她的三个孩子 　　 Lightning flickers through the hospital window 闪电穿透了医院的窗 at the door an elderly woman stands waiting for the rain to clear. 一位老妇人站在门口 等着雨停 I ask her if I can give her a lift, I've hailed a taxi. 我问她要不要搭车 我已经招了一辆出租车 "Can you take me to Holborn tube?" “你能把我送到赫伯恩地铁站么？” On the way she breaks down in tears. 半路上她哭了起来 She has come from Edinburgh. 她是从爱丁堡来的 Her son is in the ward - 她亲爱的儿子此刻躺在病房里 he has meningitis and has lost the use of his legs 他得了脑膜炎 双腿已经费了 I'm helpless as the tears flow. 她哭泣时我感到软弱无力 I can't see her. Just the sound of her sobbing. 　　 我无法看见她 只能听到她啜泣的声音 　　 One know the whole world Without stirring abroad 一个人不走出房间便可以知晓世界 　　 Without looking out of the window One can see the way of heaven 无需注视着窗外 便可看见天堂之路 　　 The further one goes The less one knows 行之愈远 知之愈少 　　 In the pandemonium of image 在混沌的影像中 　　 I present you with the universal Blue 我将宇宙的蓝色呈现给你们 　　 Blue an open door to soul 蓝色是通往灵魂之门 　　 An infinite possibility 无限的可能 　　 Becoming tangible 　　 逐渐清晰可辨 　　 Here I am again in the waiting room. 此刻我又一次呆在候诊室里 Hell on Earth is a waiting room. 人间地狱就是一间候诊室 Here you know you are not in control of yourself, 你知道在这里你不能掌控自己 waiting for your name to be called: 只能等候着自己的名字被召唤 "712213". 712213号 Here you have no name, 在这里你没有名字 confidentiality is nameless. 秘密是不可言说的 Where is 666? 666号在哪儿？ Am I sitting opposite him/her? 我是否就坐在他或她的对面？ Maybe 666 is the demented woman switching the channels on the TV. 　　 666号也许是个精神错乱的女人 正换着电视的频道 　　 What do I see past the gates of conscience ？ 撇开是非之心 我会看见什么？ 　　 Activists invading Sunday Mass 激进分子袭击了主日弥撒 　　 In the cathedral 在大教堂里 　　 An epic Czar Ivan denouncing the Patriarch of Moscow 一位显赫的沙皇伊凡公开谴责莫斯科的总主教 　　 A moon-faced boy who spits and repeated crosses himself as he genuflects 一个圆脸的男孩 在屈膝礼时不停地摩挲衣服划着十字 　　 Will the pearly gates slam shut in the faces of the devout 　　天国之门会在这些虔诚的面孔前永远关闭么？ 　　The demented woman is discussing needles 那个精神错乱的女人在讨论她的毛衣编织技巧 there is always a discussion here. 在这里总会有类似的议论 She has a line put into her neck. 她的脖子上绕了根线 　　How are we perceived 我们应当怎样感知 if we are to be perceived at all? 如果我们自身就是被感知的？ For the most part we are invisible. 　　 多数情况下 我们是看不见的 　　If the doors of perception were cleansed 如果我们的观念净化了 then everything would be seen as it is. 　　 那么万事万物将显现它们的本来面目 　　The dog barks, the caravan passes. 大篷车队经过 狗吠叫着 　　Marco Polo stumbles across the Blue Mountain. 　　 马可波罗偶然发现了蓝色的山脉 　　Marco Polo stops 马可波罗停下来 and sits on a lapis throne by the River Oxus 坐在奥克苏斯河畔的天青石宝座上 while he is ministered to by the descendants of Alexander the Great. 当时亚历山大显赫的后代资助着他 The caravan approaches, 大棚车队临近了 blue canvasses fluttering in the wind. 蓝色的帆布在风中飘扬 Blue people from over the sea - ultramarine 从深蓝色大海一边来的忧愁的人儿 have come to collect the lapis with its flecks of gold. 捡拾着金斑点点的天青石 　　 The road to the city of Aqua Vitae 通往圣水之城的道路 is protected by a labyrinth built from crystals and mirrors 被阳光下的水晶镜迷宫掩藏 which in the sunlight cause terrible blindness. 人们一叶障目 难寻迷踪 The mirrors reflect each of your betrayals, 镜子映照出你的每一寸背叛 magnify them and drive you into madness. 　　 放大它们 让你癫狂 　　 Blue walks into the labyrinth. 蓝色降临这座迷宫 Absolute silence is demanded to all its visitors, 所有来访者被要求绝对的安静 so their presence does not disturb the poets who are directing the excavations. 这样他们的存在不会打扰那些指挥开掘的诗人们 Digging can only proceed on the calmest of days 挖掘只能在白天最安静的时候进行 as rain and wind destroy the finds. 　　 因为雨和风会毁掉新发现 　　The archaeology of sound has only just been perfected 直到最近一套具有严谨索引的语言系统被偶然发现 and the systematic cataloguing of words has until recently been undertaken in a haphazard way. 对这些言辞的考据才趋于完美 Blue watched as a word or phrase materialised in scintillating sparks “blue”看起来只是一个烁烁其华的词或短语 a poetry of fire which casts everything into darkness with the brightness of its reflections. 　　 但它也是一首关于光火的诗 分饰着从光明到黑暗的所有角色 　　As a teenager 年少时 I used to work for the Royal National Institute for the Blind on their Christmas 每逢圣诞节来临 我都会和七十岁的潘趣小姐 去皇家盲人协会做义工 appeal for radios, 响应电台的号召 with dear miss Punch, seventy years old, who used to arrive each morning on her Harley Davidson. 　　 那个每天早晨开着她的哈利摩托车来的潘趣小姐 　　She kept us on our toes. 她让我们充满活力 Her job as a gardener gave her time to spare in January. 她的职业是园丁 这使她一月份有空闲的时间 Miss Punch Leather Woman was the first out dyke I ever met. 潘琪小姐是我遇到的第一个公开的女同性恋 Closeted and frightened by my sexuality she was my hope. 对为自己的性取向秘密感到惊惧的我来说 她是我的希望 "Climb on, let's go for a ride." “上来吧，我们去飙车” She looked like Edith Piaf, a sparrow, and wore a cock-eyed beret at a saucy angle. 她长得像伊迪丝皮亚芙 跟个麻雀似的 歪戴着一顶贝雷帽 角度斜得很漂亮 She bossed all the other old girls who came back year after year for her company. 　　 她管理着那些一年又一年回来和她一起帮忙的老女孩们 　　 In the paper today. 今天的报纸上报道说 Three quarters of the AIDS organisations are not providing safer sex information. 四分之三的艾滋病组织没有提供安全性行为的知识 One district said they had no queers in their community, 有地方宣称他们社区根本没有同性恋者 but you might try district X - they have a theatre. 　　但你可以到某地区体验一下 就是有大剧院的那一区 　　My sight seems to have closed in. 我的视野逐渐缩小 The hospital is even quieter this morning. 今早的医院似乎更安静了 Hushed. 一片寂静 I have a sinking feeling in my stomach. I feel defeated. 我的胃很沉 我感觉自己被摧毁了 My mind bright as a button but my body falling apart - 我的思想明亮 但我的身体在崩溃 a naked light bulb in a dark and ruined room. 被废弃的黑屋子里闪烁着赤裸裸的灯光 There is death in the air here but we are not talking about it. 空气里中充满着死亡的气息 而我们却讳莫如深 But I know the silence might be broken by distraught visitors screaming 但我知道宁静会被拜访者疯狂的尖叫声打破： "Help, Sister! Help Nurse!" “护士 帮帮我！护士 帮帮我！” followed by the sound of feet rushing along the corridor. 走廊凌乱的脚步声后 Then silence. 一切又归于寂静 　　 Blue protects white from innocence 蓝色保护着白色 使之免于天真 　　 Blue drags black with it 蓝色掺杂着黑色 与之为伴 　　 Blue is darkness made visible 蓝色是看得见的黑暗 　　 Blue protects white from innocence 蓝色保护着白色 使之免于天真 　　 Blue drags black with it 蓝色混融着黑色 与之为伴 　　 Blue is darkness made visible 蓝色是黑暗中诞生的光 　　 Over the mountains is the shrine to Rita, 高山之上是丽塔神庙 where all at the end of the line call. 路之尽头 所有的人都在呼唤 Rita is the Saint of the Lost Cause. 丽塔是注定要失败的圣徒 The saint of all who are at their wit's end, 她是所有才智穷尽人的终点 who are hedged in and trapped by the facts of the world. 是所有那些被命运捉弄 陷进生命圈套里的人的终点 These facts, detached from cause, 这些事实 从原因中剥离出来的事实 trapped the Blue Eyed Boy in a system of unreality. 使蓝眼少年陷入不真实的圈套 Would all these blurred facts that deceive dissolve in his last breath? 所有这些欺骗性的模糊事实 会让他在弥留之际感到不安吗？ For accustomed to believing in image,an absolute idea of value, 习惯于眼睛看到的影像 一种绝对价值 his world had forgotten the command of essence: 他的世界便遗忘了本质 Thou Shall Not Create Unto Thyself Any Graven Image, 虽然你无法创造自己的永恒映像 although you know the task is to fill the empty page. 而且你知道自己的任务只是填补其中空白 From the bottom of your heart, 但在你心底 pray to be released from image. 　 还是祈求从影像的束缚中得到解放 　　 The image is a prison of the soul, 影像是灵魂的监狱 your heredity, your education, 困囿了你的身体 你的学识 your vices and aspirations, 你的恶行 你的雄心 your qualities, your psychological world. 　　你的才华 你的内心世界 　　 I have walked behind the sky. 我已经走到天空的背面 　　 For what are you seeking? 你在寻找什么？ 　　 The fathomless blue of Bliss. 　　幸福的蓝色深不见底 　　 To be an astronaut of the void, 去做一个虚拟宇航员 leave the comfortable house that imprisons you with reassurance. 离开用安全感囚禁你的房子 remember, 　　记住 　　 To be going and to have are not eternal 将要做的与已完成的都不能永恒 fight the fear that engenders the beginning, 与恐惧搏击 它引发了开始 the middle 过程 and the end. 　　和结束 　　 For Blue 对于蓝色来说 there are no boundaries or solutions. 　　 没有边界或答案 Time is what keeps the light from reaching us. 时间阻止光明抵达我们 　　 How did my friends cross the cobalt river 我的朋友们是怎么渡过钴蓝色冥河的 with what did they pay the ferryman? 拿什么去贡献给摆渡者 As they set out for the indigo shore under this jet-black sky 当他们在乌黑的天空下 出发驶向靛蓝色的海岸时 some died on their feet with a backward glance. 有些人在那个回眸的瞬间便死去了 Did they see Death with the hell hounds pulling a dark chariot, 他们能看见死神吗 驾着地狱里黑色的战车 bruised blue-black growing dark in the absence of light, 撞得青一块紫一块 在漆黑的世界里慢慢变暗 did they hear the blast of trumpets? 　他们听得见呼啸的号角声吗？ 　　 David ran home panicked on the train from Waterloo, 大卫惊慌地乘列车从滑铁卢跑回来 brought back exhausted and unconscious to die that night. 筋疲力尽 不省人事 当天晚上就死掉了 Terry who mumbled incoherently into his incontinent tears. 特里语无伦次地喃喃 泪水止不住的流 Others faded like flowers cut by the scythe of the Blue Bearded Reaper, 其他人像被蓝胡子的镰刀割下的花儿一样 parched as the waters of life receded. 在生命之泉枯竭的时候 凋谢了 Howard turned slowly to stone, petrified day by day, 　　 霍华德慢慢变成呆滞 一天比一天没有生机 his mind imprisoned in a concrete fortress 他的心被囚禁在一个混凝土堡垒里 until all we could hear were his groans on the telephone circling the globe. 直到我们听到的 全是他在电话里萦回的呻吟 　　 Mad Vincent sits on his yellow chair clasping his knees to his chest - Bananas. 疯疯癫癫的文森特蜷缩在他黄色的椅子里 双手抱膝 紧扣在胸前 精神崩溃 The sunflowers wilt in the empty pot, bone dry, skeletal 向日葵在空罐子里枯萎 枝叶干枯 the black seeds picked into the staring face of a Halloween pumpkin. 摘去了黑色种子的花盘 变得像万圣节南瓜那张刺目的脸 He is unaware of Blue standing in the corner. 他并未察觉角落中伫立的蓝色 Fevered eyes glare at the jaundiced corn, 激动的眼神只知怒视着黄疸的玉米 caw of the jet-black crows spiralling in the yellow. 黑色乌鸦的聒噪 The lemon goblin stares from the unwanted canvasses thrown in a corner. 柠檬色的小妖精 在墙角废弃的破画布中往外瞧 Sourpuss suicide screams with evil 坏脾气的自杀者发出不祥的尖叫声 clasping cowardly Yellowbelly, slit eyed. 　　 牢牢地抓住胆怯的农夫 令其死不瞑目 Blue fights diseased Yellowbelly 蓝色与病中的胆小鬼搏斗 whose fetid breath scorches the trees yellow with ague. 它用恶臭的呼吸把树烤的金黄 Betrayal is the oxygen of his devilry. 背叛是他哺育邪恶的养料 He'll stab you in the back. 他会从背后伤人 Yellowbelly places a jaundiced kiss in the air, 懦夫在空中放中一个嫉妒的吻 the stink of pubs blinds Blue's eyes. 恶臭的脓熏瞎了蓝色的眼睛 Evil swims in the yellow bile. 罪恶在黄色的愤怒里泅泳 Yellowbelly's snake eyes poison. 懦夫的蛇之眼充满恶毒目光 He crawls over Eve's rotting apple wasp-like. 它爬过夏娃腐坏的苹果 大黄蜂 Quick as a flash he stings Blue in the mouth - "AAAUGH!" 迅如闪电 它盯上了蓝色 his hellish legion buzz and chuckle in the mustard gas. 它卑鄙的喽啰们在芥子气里嗡嗡哂笑着 They'll piss all over you. 他会撒得你全身是尿 Sharp nicotine-stained fangs bared. 　露出被尼古丁熏过的森森尖牙 Blue transformed into an insectocutor , 蓝色变成了蜇人的虫 his Blue aura frying the foes. 它的蓝色的气息灼烧着敌人 　　 We all contemplated suicide 我们都在思索自杀的事 　　 We hoped for euthanasia 我们期待着安乐死 　　 We were lulled into believing 我们被哄着相信 　　 Morphine dispelled pain 吗啡会驱走痛苦 　　 Rather than making it tangible 比病情好转更实际 　　 Like a mad Disney cartoon 像一部疯狂的迪斯尼动画片 　　 Transforming itself into every conceivable nightmare 把自己变成任何一种能想象到的妖怪 　　 Karl killed himself – 卡尔自杀了 how did he do it? I never asked. 他是怎么死的？我从来没问过 It seemed incidental. 那看上去只是个意外 What did it matter if he swigged prussic acid or shot himself in the eye. 即使他喝下氢氰酸 或者对着自己眼睛开上一枪 又能怎么样呢 Maybe he dived into the streets from high up in the cloud lapped skyscrapers. 也许他是从从高耸入云的摩天大楼上飞下来的 　　The nurse explains the implant. 护士在讲解如何输液 You mix the drugs and drip yourself once a day. 你把药混合在一起 每天自己打一次点滴 The drugs are kept in a small fridge they give you. 药物存放在她们给你的小冰箱里 Can you imagine travelling around with that? 你能想象带着它到处旅行么？ The metal implant will set the bomb detector off in airports, 金属注射器会使机场炸弹探测器发出警报 and I can just see myself travelling to Berlin with a fridge under my arm. 　　 我看到只有我拎着冰箱去柏林旅行 　　 Impatient youths of the sun 年少气盛的太阳 　　 Burning with many colours 燃烧着七彩的光 　　 Flick combs through hair In bathroom mirrors 在浴室镜子前悄悄梳理头发 　　 Fucking with fusion and fashion 让和谐与时尚见鬼去吧 　　 Dance in the beams of emerald lasers 在翠绿的激光光束中跳舞 　　 Mating on suburban duvets 在郊外的床榻上交欢 　　 Cum splattered nuclear breeders 伴着核反应堆般飞溅的液滴 　　 What a time that was. 　　 那是一个怎样的时代啊 　　The drip ticks out the seconds, 输液的滴答声提示着每一秒的流失 the source of a stream along which the minutes flow, 这股小溪的源头 沿着分钟的细流 to join the river of hours, 汇入时间之河 the sea of years 再进入年月的大海 and the timeless ocean. 直至无限之汪洋 The side effects of DHPG, the drug for which I have to come into hospital to be dripped twice a day, 我每天必须去医院注射的DHPG are: 有副作用： Low white blood cell count,increased risk of infection, 因白细胞减少增加了感染的风险 low platelet count which may increase the risk of bleeding,low red blood cell count (anaemia) 因血小板减少更容易的出血 也降低了红血球指数(贫血） fever, rush, abnormal liver function, 发热 亢奋 肝功能失常 chills, swelling of the body (oedema), infections, 寒战 身体肿胀（水肿 感染 malaise, irregular heart beat, 焦虑不安 心律失常 high blood pressure (hypertension), 血压偏高（高血压） low blood pressure (hypotension), 血压偏低（低血压） abnormal thoughts or dreams, 失常的思虑和梦境 loss of balance (ataxia) 失去平衡（共济失调） coma, confusion, dizziness, headache, 昏迷 混淆 晕眩 头痛 nervousness, damage to nerves (peristhecia),psychosis, 神经质 神经受损（感觉异常）精神病 sleepiness (somnolence), shaking, nausea, vomiting, 想睡觉（嗜睡） 颤抖 恶心 呕吐 loss of appetite (anorexia), diarrhoea, 丧失食欲（厌食症） 腹泻 bleeding from the stomach or intestine (intestinal haemorrhage), abdominal pain, 胃肠出血（肠出血） 腹部疼痛 increased number of one type of white blood cell, 某种类型的白血球数量增加 low blood sugar, shortness of breath, hair loss (alopecia), 低血糖 呼吸短促 头发脱落（脱发） itching (pruritus), hives, 身体发痒（瘙痒） 麻疹 blood in the urine, abnormal kidney functions, increased blood urea, 尿血 肾功能失常 血尿素增高 redness (inflammation), pain or irritation (phlebitis). 红肿（炎症） 疼痛或发炎（静脉炎） 　　Retinal detachments have been observed in patients 无论是治疗前还是治疗后 both before and after initiation of therapy. 病人的视网膜都会出现脱落 The drug has caused decreased sperm production in animals 这种药物会导致动物的精子数量减少 and may cause infertility in humans, and birth defects in animals. 并可能引起人类不育 还有动物的先天缺陷 Although there is no information in human studies, 　 虽然在人类研究中还没有报告 it should be considered a potential carcinogen since it 但还是被视为一种潜在的致癌物 causes tumours in animals. 　 因为它会引发动物身上的肿瘤 If you are concerned about any of the above side-effects 如果你关注以上任何一种副作用 or if you would like any further information, 或者想索取任何补充资料 please ask your doctor. 请向你的医生咨询 In order to be put on the drug 为了能靠这些药活命 you have to sign a piece of paper 你必须签署一份书面声明 tating you understand that all these illnesses are a possibility. 表示你清楚地知道这些病都可能发生 I really can't see what I am to do. 我真的不知道该怎么做 I am going to sign it. 我正准备去签了它 　　 The darkness comes in with the tide 黑暗如潮水般涌入 　　 The year slips on the calendar 年华从日历中溜走 　　 Your kiss flares 你的吻熠熠生辉 　　 A match struck in the night 一根火柴划亮黑夜 　　 Flares and dies 怒放 继而隐灭 　　 My slumber broken 我自睡梦中惊醒 Kiss me again 再吻我一次吧 Kiss me 吻我 Kiss me again and again 反复地亲吻我 　 Kiss me again 再吻我一次吧 Kiss me 吻我 　　 Kiss me again and again 反复地亲吻我 　　 Never enough 永不满足 　　 Greedy lips 贪婪的嘴唇 　　 Speedwell eyes 蓝色花簇的眼睛 　　 Blue skies 　　 蔚蓝的天空 　　 A man sits in his wheelchair, 一个男人坐在轮椅里 头发蜷曲 his awry, munching through a packet of dry biscuits, 大声嚼着压缩饼干 slow and deliberate as a praying mantis. 迟缓而谨慎得犹如一只螳螂 He speaks enthusiastically but sometimes incoherently of the hospice. 他时而热情时而语无伦次地讲述着收容所的事 he says, "You can't be too careful who you mix with there, 他说 在那里你不能过于介意跟谁混 there's no way of telling the visitors, patients or staff apart. 那里根本无法分辨出谁是探视者 谁又是病人或医护人员 The staff have nothing to identify them 工作人员也没有任何身份证明 except they are all in leather. 除了一点-他们都穿皮衣 The place is like an S&M club". 这个地方就像一个SM俱乐部 This hospice has been built by charity, 这个收容所是慈善机构建造的 the names of the donors displayed for all to see. 　　 捐赠者的名字对所有人公示 　　Charity has allowed the uncaring to appear to care 慈善团体让那些不被注意的东西展露出来并引起关注 and is terrible for those dependent on it. 这对依赖它的人来说真是糟糕透了 Charity is big business 那可是慈善机构的大买卖 We go along with this, 我们只能随声附和 so the rich and powerful who fucked us over once 于是有钱有权的家伙一次又一次 fucked us over again and get it both ways. 利用我们 欺骗我们 左右逢源 We have always been mistreated, 我们总是被欺侮的 so if anyone gives us the slightest sympathy 所以如果哪个人给了我们哪怕一点儿同情 we overreact with our thanks. 　　我们也会表示万分的感激 　　 I am a mannish muff diving size queen 我是个男人 With bad attitude 我恶劣又无趣 　　 An arse licking Psychofag 我是个喜欢舔屁眼的死基佬 　　 Molesting the flies of privacy 骚弄男人的裤裆 　　 Balling lesbian boys 玩弄小男孩 　　 A perverted heterodemon 一个不正常的异性恋 　　 Crossing purpose 　 抱持着 with death 　必死的信念 　　 I am a cock sucking straight acting lesbian man 我是个下贱的假扮成异性恋的男同性恋 He is a cock sucking straight acting lesbian man 他是个下贱的假扮成异性恋的男同性恋 　　 With ball crushing bad manners 有挤压睾丸的坏习惯 　　 Laddish nymphomaniac politics 还是个孩子气的慕男狂 With ball crushing bad manners 有挤压睾丸的坏习惯 　　 Laddish nymphomaniac politics 还是个孩子气的慕男狂 　　 Spunky sexist desires of incestuous inversion and Incorrect terminology 我性别倒错 浑身暴走着对男人的渴望 　　 I am a Not Gay 　　 我不是一个同性恋 He is not a gay 他不是一个同性恋 I am a cock sucking straight acting lesbian man 我是个下贱的假扮成异性恋的男同性恋 　 I am a Not Gay 　　 我不是一个同性恋 　　 H.B. is in the kitchen greasing his hair H.B.在厨房里往头发上涂油 　　 He guards the space against me 他提防着我 不让我进去 　　 He calls it his office 他说这是他的办公室 　　 At nine we leave for the hospital 　　 九点钟我们出发去医院 　　 H.B. comes back from the eye dept H.B.从眼科出来 　　 Where all my notes are muddled 在那里 我的记录糟糕透了 　　 He says 他说 　　 It's like Romania in there 那看上去就像罗马尼亚 　　 Two light bulbs grimly illuminate the flaking walls 两只电灯冷冰冰地映照着薄木墙 　　 There is a box of dolls in the corner indescribably grim 墙角有箱娃娃 难以名状的阴冷 　　 The doctor says 医生说 　　 Well of course the kids don't see them 当然孩子们不会看到这些 　　 There are no resources to brighten the place up 没有什么能让这里变得敞亮 　　 My eyes sting from the drops 眼药水刺痛着我的眼睛 　　 The infection has halted 感染被遏止了 　　 The flash leaves 强光移开后 　　 Scarlet after image of the blood vessels in my eye 鲜红血管的残影 映在我眼中 Blue 蓝色 　　 Teeth chattering February 、冷得牙打颤的二月 　　 Cold as death pushes at the bedsheets 　　 严寒像死亡一样掠过我们的床 　　 An aching cold 令人疼痛的寒冷 　　 Interminable as marble 大理石花纹一样冗长 　　 My mind 我的思想 　　 Frosted with drugs ices up 被药物的寒冰覆盖 　　 A drift of empty snowflakes 雪花飘动 　　 Whiting out memory 回忆也变得透明 　　 A blinkered twister circling in spirals 盘旋上升的龙卷风 　　 Shall I? Will I? 我可以吗？ 我愿意吗？ 　　 Doodling death watch 随手记录死亡 　　 Mind how you go 留意你如何离开这个世界 　　 Oral DHPG is consumed by the liver, 口服的DHPG被肝脏吸收 so they have tweaked a molecule to fool the system. 所以他们就能改变分子 欺骗身体 What risk is there? 这会有什么危险呢？ If I had to live forty years blind, 如果我不得不在黑暗中度过四十年 I might think twice. 我会重新考虑一下 Treat my illness like the dodgems: 治疗我的病就像玩碰碰车： music, bright lights, 音乐 强光 碰撞 bumps and throw yourself into life again. 　　 然后再一次将自己投入到现实中 　　 The pills are the most difficult, 吃药是件苦差事 some taste bitter, others are too large. 药片有些太苦 有些太大 I'm taking about thirty a day, 我一天要吃下大约三十粒 a walking chemical laboratory. 一个行走的化学实验室 I gag on them as I swallow them 我把它们塞进嘴里咽下去 and they come up half dissolved in the coughing and the spluttering. 　有一半在咳嗽声中就已溶化 My skins sits on me like the shirt of Nessus. 我的皮肤就像内萨斯的毒衬衣 My face irritates, 我的脸针刺一般 as do my back and legs at night. 在夜里 我的背和腿也疼 I toss and turn, scratching, unable to sleep. 我辗转反侧 又抓又挠 难以入睡 I get up, turn on the light. 索性爬起来拉开灯 Stagger to the bathroom. 蹒跚地走进浴室 If I become so tired, maybe I'll sleep. 要是我累极了 也许就能睡着了 Films chase through my mind. 心里会涌现些影像 Once in a while I dream a dream as magnificent as the Taj Mahal. 偶尔我会做一个像泰姬陵般恢弘的梦 I cross southern India with a young spirit guide 我追随一个年轻的幽灵穿越了印度南部 India the land of my dreaming childhood. 印度是我年幼就向往的地方 The souvenirs in Moslem's peach and grey living room. 摩泽尔桃灰色起居室里有印度的纪念品 Granny called Moselle, 摩泽尔是外婆的名字 called 'Girly', called May. 大家叫她 少女小梅 An orphan who lost her name, 她曾经是个孤儿 which was Ruben. 被唤作 鲁本 jade, monkeys, ivory miniatures, mah-jongg. 纪念品有 玉猴子 象牙雕 麻将 The winds and bamboos of China 小乐器 还有瓷做的竹子 　　 All the old taboos of blood lines and blood banks 所有的那些古老的禁忌 关乎血族和族系 　　 Blue blood and bad blood 贵族的血统和卑贱的血统 　　 Our blood and your blood 我们的血和你们的血 　　 I sit here - you sit there 　　 我坐在这儿 你就得坐在那儿 　　 As I slept a jet slammed into a tower block. 当我睡觉时 一架喷气式飞机撞倒一座塔楼上 The jet was almost empty 飞机上几乎是空的 but two hundred people were fried in their sleep. 但是却有两百个人在睡梦中被炸死 　　 The earth is dying and we do not notice it. 　　 地球行将灭亡而我们却毫无察觉 　　 A young man frail as Belsen 一个青年在走廊上缓慢走着 　　 Walks slowly down the corridor 他瘦弱的如同刚从贝尔森集中营出来 　　 His pale green hospital pyjamas hanging off him 旧病号服跟捆在身上似的 It's very quiet this morning 今天早上安静极了 　　 Just the distant coughing 只有远处传来的咳嗽声 　　 My jugs eye blots out the young man 我快全盲的双眼还没看清这位青年 who has just walked past my field of vision 他就走出了我的视野 　　 This illness knocks you for six 这种病每次都会击垮你 　　 Just as you start to forget it 当你开始忘记它时 　　 A bullet in the back of my head 它像子弹般突然射进后脑 　　 Might be easier 威力更大 　　 You know, 你知道吗 you can take longer than the second world war to get to the grave 　　 你要等待比二战还要漫长的时间才能最终走进坟墓 　　 Ages and Aeons quit the room 衰老与永生离开了这个房间 　　 Exploding into timelessness 顷刻间化作永恒 　　 No entrances or exits now 现在 这里既没有入口也没有出口 　　 No need for obituaries or final judgements 不需要讣告或最终判决 　　 We knew that time would end after tomorrow at sunrise 我们知道明天日出之后 时间将会终结 　　 We scrubbed the floors And did the washing up 悠闲地擦擦地板 洗洗餐具就好 　　 It would not catch us unawares 　　死神不会让我们措手不及的 　　The white flashes 当视网膜被破坏时 you are experiencing in your eyes are common when the retina is damaged. 　　 你的眼睛会经常感到白色亮光 　　The damaged retina has started to peel away 损坏的视网膜开始脱落 leaving the innumerable black floaters, 丢下数不清的黑色悬浮物 like a flock of starlings around in the twilight. 像一群盘旋于黄昏时的椋鸟 　　I am back at St Mary's to have my eyes looked at by the specialist. 我回到圣玛丽医院 请专家再看看我的眼睛 The place is the same, but there is new staff. 相同的地方 然而物是人已非 How relieved I am not to have the operation this morning 多么幸运啊 我今早不用手术 to have a tap put into my chest. 那个从我的胸腔往外抽液的手术 I must try and cheer up H.B. as he has had a hell of a fortnight. 我得让H.B.高兴一点 他已经过了半个月地狱般的日子 In the waiting room a little grey man over the way is fretting 候诊室的小老头正在苦恼 as he has to get to Sussex. 因为他不得不到苏克塞斯去 He says, "I am going blind, I cannot read any longer". 他说：我快全瞎了 再也不能阅读了 　　 A little later he picks up a newspaper, 过不一会儿 他拿起一张报纸 struggles with it for a moment and throws it back on the table. 撕扯了一下一阵子 再把它扔回到桌子上 My stinging eye-drops have stopped me reading, 眼药水的刺激让我没法看书 so I write this in a haze of belladonna. 于是我只能在在颠茄的阴霾中写下这个 The little grey man's face has fallen into tragedy. 小老头一脸不幸的苦样 He looks like Jean Cocteau without the poet's refined arrogance. 他长得活像科特托 却没有这个诗人的优雅与傲慢 The room is full of men and women squinting into the dark 屋子里挤满了男人与女人 乜斜着眼注视着黑暗 in different states of illness. 他们的病情各不相同 Some barely able to walk, 有些几乎不能走路 distress and anger on every face 忧伤与愤怒写满了他们的脸 and then a terrible resignation. 最终演变为最可怕的放弃　　 　　Jean Cocteau takes off his glasses, “科特托”摘下他的眼镜 he looks about him with an undescribable meanness. 用难以形容的猥琐目光四处张望着 He has black slip-on shoes, blue socks, grey trousers, 他身着黑色便鞋 蓝色短袜 灰色长裤 a Fairisle sweater and a herringbone jacket. 一件干净卫衣 和一件人字纹的夹克 The posters that plaster the walls above him have endless question marks, 他头顶的墙上贴着张海报 上面有无数个问号 HIV/AIDS?, AIDS?, HIV? HIV感染者？艾滋病人？病毒感染者？ ARE YOU INFECTED BY HIV/AIDS?,ARC?, HIV? 你正受到艾滋病的侵袭么？艾滋病？综合症？HIV感染？ This is a hard wait. 这是艰难的等待 The shattering bright light of the eye specialist's camera 眼医镜头中扩散的光 leaves that empty sky blue after-image. 产生天蓝色的视觉残留 Did I really see green the first time? 起初我真的看见过绿色吗？ The after-image dissolves in a second. 残留影像马上消失了 As the photographs progress, 在拍摄过程中 colours change to pink and the light turns to orange. 颜色变得粉红的 灯光变成橘色 The process is a torture, 这过程是种折磨 but the result, stable eyesight, 不过结果 稳定的视力 worth the price and the twelve pills I have to take a day. 也值每天不得不吞下十二粒药的代价了 Sometimes looking at them I fell nauseous and want to skip them. 有时 我一看见它们就感到恶心 并且想不吃算了 It must be my association with H.B. 我想起H.B lover of the computer and king of the keyboard 他是电脑的情人 键盘的国王 that brought my luck on the computer 这次的药物实验是他从电脑上给我报的名 which chose my name for this drug trial. 最终我被选中 是他带给我的好运气 I nearly forgot as I left St Mary's I smiled at Jean Cocteau. 当我离开圣玛丽医院时 我差点忘了向科克托致以笑意 He gave a sweet smile back. 　　 他还给我一个甜蜜的微笑 　　I caught myself looking at shoes in a shop window. 在一家鞋店的橱窗前 我停下脚步 I thought of going in and buying a pair, but stopped myself. 我想进去买一双鞋却打消了这个念头 The shoes I am wearing at the moment should be sufficient to walk me out of life. 　　 我现在脚下的这双鞋足以陪我走完剩余生命之路 　　 Pearl fishers In azure seas 采珠人遨游在蓝色的大海 Deep waters washing the isle of the dead in coral harbours 深深的海水冲蚀着死亡岛屿 　　 Amphora spill gold across the still seabed 珊瑚礁岸边 寂静的海底 双耳罐里散落出金币 　　 We lie there 我们躺在那里 　　 Fanned by the billowing 巨浪拍打着被遗忘的船的帆 　　 Sails of forgotten ships tossed by the mournful winds 它在哀号的风中飘摇 Of the deep lost Boys sleep forever 失落的男孩 永远沉睡 　　 In a dear embrace salt lips touching 在深情的拥抱中 咸咸的嘴唇相吻 　　 In submarine gardens 在海底花园里 　　 Cool marble fingers touch an antique smile 冰凉的大理石手指 触摸到一个古老的微笑 　　 Shell sounds Whisper 　　 贝壳发出飒飒的声音 　　 Deep love drifting on the tide forever 深爱如潮水般 永不止息 　　 The smell of him Dead good looking 他的味道美极了 　　 In beauty's summer 在美丽的夏天 　　 His blue jeans Around his ankles 　　他的蓝色牛仔裤围绕在脚踝上 　　 Bliss in my ghostly eye 幸福在我朦胧的双眼里 　　 Kiss me On the lips On the eyes 吻我的唇 我的眼 　　 Our name will be forgotten In time 我们的名字终将被时间遗忘 　　 No one will remember our work 没有人会记得我们所做的 Our life will pass like the traces of a cloud 我们的生命终将逝去 如过往云烟 　　 And be scattered like mist that is chased by the rays of the sun 又如被日光驱散的薄雾 　　 For our time is the passing of a shadow 对我们来说 时间如白驹过隙 　　 And our lives will run like sparks through the stubble. 眼下 我们的生命就要飞逝而去了 犹如麦秸燃烧那瞬间的花火 　　 I place a delphinium, Blue, upon your grave 在你的坟冢上 我搁上一株飞燕草 一片蓝色